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“Violence Against Women”

My days are heavy like this chain

I wake up in the same day

I woke up in the blame day

Is it a nightmare? Pinch myself

Is it a real you? I tell myself

Is it only painful for myself?

 

Kids are playing

And I am crying

That big muscle hand hitting

Hitting me again

I don’t know where to release the pain

 

It seems will never end

It seems like holding me chain

It is continuing

It is ruining

 

I have tried whole life

I have give my life

But you fear about life

You decide not to face this life

 

The second day I wake up

It is you again, no bargain

Kids are crying

I am dying

But I’m not let go

Not let go of your violence song

 

I’ll make you understand

I cannot be “banned”

I cannot be treated like a chain

Chain, chain, chain, chain…

Stop over there!

This chain will never be longer

Because I’ll stand right here

Making my own song

Song of breaking this chain

 

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Narrative: Constructing my gender

“Whole me”

I was born in my body and my parents told me to follow my body. I never choose, I never imagine living in another body.  My mama always says that it is good to be what you are, and I’m standing here like “whoa, how beautiful I am”.

The more I grow the more I think what’s surrounding me, I see skinny bodies, white skins seems like a right definition of beautiful woman. I start to forget who was I, I start to throw who was I, I decided to not care about who was I. I tried all different kind of expensive make-up, I tried expensive treatments for my body and I tried to be somebody else, somebody who can sit with anyone.

It really hurts to be somebody else, but what can I do to make them love me? It seems like this whole body couldn’t be a perfect definition of word “pretty”. My belly shaking every day, every moment when I pretend. I pretend to be you, to be her, to be them and who the heck was I?

Every day is so exciting for me to hear what people say who adore my fake appearance, who adore my stupid lies. The more I pretend and the more I lie, the closer they’ll sit with me.

But this lie has been bigger than I imagine, it becomes really big like a balloon that starts to explode.

It is that time when finally when my balloon of fakeness start to explode, they know who the heck was I and they regret being close to me. Close with my fakeness. This disappointed feeling, they have to throw me back to center realization that I can’t be somebody else, that I can’t be she or her but just to be me.

I wanna knock the door of the real me and apologize for stupid me. I just wanna say to my body, “hey it’s me, I’m back from a long road of pretending”. I decided to love who I am and what really appears on my body. Running back to my Creator to apologize that I forget how precious was I.

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“Labels and Subversions”

Do you hear that?

That is sound of my high heels

What do you think I am?

I am a female

Am I materialistic?

But this world needs money

Am I a fake lover?

Come on tell me, honey

 

Watchful for everything on mind darl

I might seem as slow as that turtle

I might seem fussy like a baby

But you never see

When this hand can handle the storm

When this courage like a mad lion

 

I’m not being sassy

This just a truth where I live in

My conflict is my feeling

Not that physical thing

 

I’m not a attention seeker

I am more like a keeper

Who keeps the day going

When the night falling

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“Being A Girl”

I am who I am

No doubt in me

I’m proud sometimes loud

I love that I don’t take things lightly

 

Being a girl is incredible

I always come back stronger

When the storm push me deeper

I am a girl

who likes to be understood

Through the gentle words

And songs

 

I am a girl

My heart is as soft as cotton

I’m grateful like a rainbow

Which is glad it’s colorful

I am a girl

In my heart and out

And I will be

Forever

 

-Tessalonika

 

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Love sonnet to women

“Magnifying Universe is thy affection”

Magnifying Universe is thy affection

Thus billion shining light of stars

Decorated naturally with a fine portion,

Lift up many ways to reach mars

Affection grows greater as we look above the night

Unnamed sparkling stars in the sky

The depths of milky way galaxy of light

Capture the night of the rough sky

Night either noon, thy beauty shimmering

Thy beauty never sound

But the power of wholeness universe combining.

If thy affection is magnifying universe, this heart will not go astray

As long as thy affection converse, the colors of the universe will stay.

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Love sonnet to men

“Unspoken love”

I saw the valor in thy manners

Unspoken love o how do I cherish thy presence?

I saw romance in thy manners

Hidden right from the appearance

Rough hands is summery love I believe

Thy tears drown thee cower

In times of trouble not gonna leave

Thy luve more a cover than a blower

Never get praise, never get grades

This anchor strong shape in a dust

Standing pillar of many shades

When the heart flies to win the trust

That love will never end and this life beyond compare,

This soul will make the darkest night be gone to share

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Poem “What does your gender mean to you?”

Female, that’s what they call me

Female, attached to my bones and blood streams

Female, is what my Creator has created for me

Female, was born to be a helper

Being a female feels incredible

Strength in our heart is unbreakable

Doesn’t mean weaker than men

Because we know we can pay rent

Thunder storm come…

Doesn’t matter

Hurricane comes…

Doesn’t matter

Because my bones made out from steel

And I will always stand still

by: Tessalonika Krisanti